Best friend.

When I was a little and somewhat losing people, I thought having a best friend was about having “my person”, somebody I could have forever, someone who would be there for me, someone who would never fight with me or turn against me.

It was a pretty magical notion to be true.

I thought having a best friend means constant contact, conversations everyday, good days everyday, and I thought it meant having the world in one person, but reality is complicated to comprehend and yet it’s beautiful when you finally do.

I recently came to terms with the idea that a best friend is in fact not somebody who will never ever argue with you, it is somebody who will fight with you the most, whom you will want to punch out of anger, but you will overlook the rage and choose to understand, whom you will forgive a million times if needed.

It is somebody who cannot always be there with you, everyday, but when you need them they leave the world behind. It is somebody who constantly annoys the hell out of you, makes fun of you, but respects you the most. It is somebody who has the courage to forgive, to reconcile, to build from the broken again, to make a home from what is left.

It is somebody who gives meaning to the word ‘forever’

Somebody beautiful told me something I wish I had understood long ago, that best friendship is about quality and not quantity with regards to time, memories, or conversations. It’s about how meaningful they make your life.

It is about having people who you can go back to, regardless of the time chasms, no matter how bitter the end, 

and when you do, 

it’s just the same as it was where you left off.

-Marlyn Pereira

Advertisements

Learning to unlearn. 

I have been teaching myself a lot lately. Doing what you love to do, alone, can be very daunting 

So I have been pushing myself to learn and unlearn certain things. -Its okay if you’re not as good as those writers who you love. You are yourself and that is unique. No one can write the way you do because that is what it is. Everyone is different. -Its okay if you’re not good at art, you can still keep trying to make it for yourself. You don’t need an audience. Do it because you want to -Push yourself as much as you can but don’t force yourself. There is a difference. Pushing is motivating, forcing is wrong, it’s negative and art is created from inspiration and not demands. -Learn to unlearn all that you know in order to see new things, or old things the new way. Perspective is everything -Dont give up. You don’t need a silver lining. Fame is just an illusion. Art is meant to touch hearts, to be understood and loved, not simply bought or looked at. -Be happy.

-WANDERER // learning to unlearn

Mother’s day.

I bought flowers for a lovely lady today. One of the strongest women I know and I wondered if my kids would do the same for me. I wondered if I would be a good parent. 

Mother’s day, one day, for all the mother’s in the world. 

For the ones who do the world for us, and even though gone unnoticed they never stop. “Would I be able to be that selfless?” “Would I raise my children right?” “Would I be able to fight the word for them like my mother does for me?”

Questions like these were all over my mind, as I handed these to the one of the strong women I look up to. 

And In that moment I watched strong eyes melt,

I watched a fortress crumble down for a second and build up again, and I realised it was so easy to make a mother feel loved. 

The smallest gesture could make their day, yet, we don’t take the time to make them realise how much they mean to us.
Why do we need a day, a reason, to tell our mother’s that we love them? Why do we need so much courage to simply show our mother’s that they are in fact, our entire world? 

Why do we shy away to do something so small for the ones who would give up their everything for a smile on our faces.

-WANDERER // Mother’s Day 

Resilience

There was resilience 

pouring from the skies that day, 

not in the form of rain 

but in the form of dusk.

Black, the colour that always 

allayed my restless mind, 

had come to my rescue. 

Tides and tides of ‘what ifs’ 

inside my mind, kept drowning 

all the hope that was hiding,

beneath the remnants of failure.

Overwhelmed, 

I took a deep breath, 

took the steps I had once learnt 

to overcome this anxiety,

and I let all the possibilities sink in.

I closed my eyes, and let the darkness wrap itself around me, 

like a blanket of security 

and as the dusk broke the light

to a million red and yellow strokes across the sky.
I nestled in the arms 

of the night, and watched time pass, as I waited and waited

for my dream to come true.

Somehow, the silence, 

made me believe 

that it’s all going to be alright.

Dare to Wander.

“It’s often hard to find yourself a happy place”, I realised, as I found myself having one sided conversations with the wild wind. 

Tangled in my ruffled hair, my fingers and my hay wire musings played a little peek-a-boo with the shadows and the sun, revealing a little more of my mind to my consciousness, helping me unwind. “It’s often hard to find yourself a happy place” I murmured, and I smiled at the memories I just locked down in a box inside my head and I realised it’s actually not that difficult. 

I realised it’s quite easy to find your happy place, 

all you have to do 

is simply dare to seek 

and to wander. -WANDERER // S c o u r n 

17.

When I see you, I am constantly reminded of a thousand reasons and more for why my life is beautiful. I am constantly reminded that even though I’m alone I’m not. You’ve always been here even when you weren’t,  like a shadow you were there. Even when the darkness came, you were there in it, with me.

You have been my mirror since day one, and I don’t know how but looking at your face, hearing your voice gives me tremendous hope. I see you, I look at you and in you I find me. In a way I have always been afraid of changes, but with you I didn’t have to be, because you taught me almost everyday that people evolve and people crumble but that doesn’t mean their core is altered. I started to believe more in myself because you made me. That is why when I look around today every body is just a blurry face, a haze, hiding behind the mist, but you, You are definite. You are clarity and everything I am sure of and I know you know that I have always believed in you, but today I only want you to remember that it is not because of the way you make me feel, but because even before I knew you the way I do today, I knew you were worth believing in.

P.S – I will always, always believe in you, My mirror ❤

-WANDERER // 17.