Transparent.

Standing on the edge of something beautiful, 

I watched what made me believe,

that the sun came back for me. 

The wind was rusting through my hair, fighting it’s way into me 

and for once 

I did not feel stone. 

I did not feel the concrete,

the plastered me, that I had created. 

I felt the wind go through and through, 

inside my veins and my blood.

I couldn’t feel my body but 

for some unknown reason, 

all I felt was your fingers wrapped around mine.

My system was nothing,

and all I felt was that wind.

In that moment I knew, 

at the edge of something beautiful

no matter how breathtaking the view was, 

It was never the place that set me free. 

It was never the language the sun spoke to me, neither was it the music of the stars, 

or the random silhouettes of the night and the moonlight, 

but it was always You.

No matter where the place,

You were what made me feel transparent. 

You were what liberated me. -WANDERER / Transparent. 

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The understanding of Love.

Don’t sugarcoat love. It is not always the splendid feeling that gives you butterflies in the stomach. In fact, I don’t think it is the butterflies at all. I think love is the sanity that a person brings in your life and not the increase of a heartbeat, cold sweats and nervousness. I think Love is the ease in every sense that nestles in you.

Love is not the rainbow after a storm, sometimes it is the storm itself. It is the twig stuck in your foot that pricks while you walk and sometimes it is the pleasantly dull sky during summer. Love does not make you uncomfortable and uneasy, it is the essence of home, peace and content. It is not always exquisite and on some days the wind may blow stronger and make you stumble but that does not mean it isn’t true or strong. It simply implies that like humans love too is precarious, not in a bad way but it wavers.

It is like an ocean that on one side emits serenity and is the complete expression of perfection but on the other, it brews a colossal storm. It comes along with it challenges and demands of us a commitment. Love is a journey and you cannot make home on the way, but you have to take home along, wherever you go.

I think Love is strong, stronger than every other feeling, or theory that exists and I believe that Love prevails over everything. Love is meeting love and feeling a sense of comfort no other can give. It does not make you want to put up a facade of makeup or pretence, but it is the feeling that makes you tear down every mask and be naked in the soul before the one. It makes you want to be true. It makes you want to be yourself before them knowing that you won’t be judged whatsoever. It is the understanding that time although less is the most beautiful of all. It is the feeling of satisfaction in silence and the specialness in the mediocrity of simply being in bed together scrolling through social media giggling at pleasantries. Love does not require expensive dates and presents. Love is in the flower from the street and handwritten notes. Love is not in the aesthetics and the words but in simple deeds. It is in the hug of appreciation or the random kiss in the middle of a movie. It is the late night random text that says I miss you, instead of the long poetic posts on social media that are rather only a search for validation of a superficial infatuation.

Love is not awkward, shy hugs. It is the leap in the arms of the one and the fall thereafter. It is the laughter about flaws and the battles against fear, together. Love is friendship. It is the aftermath of the battle together and the nightmares too.

The truth is, if love makes you feel content it is going to hurt just as much, because it simply matters, and anything that differs from this, is a lie.

 

-WANDERER // Marlyn Pereira