Best friend.

When I was a little and somewhat losing people, I thought having a best friend was about having “my person”, somebody I could have forever, someone who would be there for me, someone who would never fight with me or turn against me.

It was a pretty magical notion to be true.

I thought having a best friend means constant contact, conversations everyday, good days everyday, and I thought it meant having the world in one person, but reality is complicated to comprehend and yet it’s beautiful when you finally do.

I recently came to terms with the idea that a best friend is in fact not somebody who will never ever argue with you, it is somebody who will fight with you the most, whom you will want to punch out of anger, but you will overlook the rage and choose to understand, whom you will forgive a million times if needed.

It is somebody who cannot always be there with you, everyday, but when you need them they leave the world behind. It is somebody who constantly annoys the hell out of you, makes fun of you, but respects you the most. It is somebody who has the courage to forgive, to reconcile, to build from the broken again, to make a home from what is left.

It is somebody who gives meaning to the word ‘forever’

Somebody beautiful told me something I wish I had understood long ago, that best friendship is about quality and not quantity with regards to time, memories, or conversations. It’s about how meaningful they make your life.

It is about having people who you can go back to, regardless of the time chasms, no matter how bitter the end, 

and when you do, 

it’s just the same as it was where you left off.

-Marlyn Pereira

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Melito Saldanha

04. Winds of change. 

He was not just my reflection 

We could’ve been just a mirrors work

an outline, indefinite.

He was not just what I saw through glass and on it.

He was so much more than that.

He was everything I was. Everything I would be. 

I could see my face in his eyes 

and in his soul, I saw mine.

Time was just a measurement of something earthly. It didn’t matter when I met him

We didnt feel new. 

Us didn’t feel like something that had just begun

maybe because my soul met his a long time ago,

and maybe because I had known him all along.

It could’ve been an illusion 

Us.

but I touched us. 

I stretched my hand out and touched what we had 

and it didn’t turn to dust.

It was tangible and I knew it was true,

but that’s not the reason why I believed in it. 

That it was tangible and apparent, wasn’t the basis of my faith in us.

What lead me to have faith in us was the times that it wasn’t evident.

When darkness opened its arms and embraced us, for life demanded it, I put forth my hand and couldn’t touch us, what we had. In the darkness, I couldn’t find us, 

but when I closed my eyes and let the fears silence themselves, I knew, I knew love was still there. I knew we were intact, unbreakable and alive.

I knew that in the dark somewhere, 

We were there, 

and we were together. 

I’ve never been sure about anything in my life. 

Changes frighten me, 

but not with him. The decree of uncertainty is just a distant voice in the background, barely heard, declining, and long gone..

I have never been the kind to be sure of anything, I know change is inevitable but 

I know that even through times that don’t seem so beautiful, and when life makes chaos swirl

we will be against this raging world

and through everything 

we will be…

We will always be

17.

When I see you, I am constantly reminded of a thousand reasons and more for why my life is beautiful. I am constantly reminded that even though I’m alone I’m not. You’ve always been here even when you weren’t,  like a shadow you were there. Even when the darkness came, you were there in it, with me.

You have been my mirror since day one, and I don’t know how but looking at your face, hearing your voice gives me tremendous hope. I see you, I look at you and in you I find me. In a way I have always been afraid of changes, but with you I didn’t have to be, because you taught me almost everyday that people evolve and people crumble but that doesn’t mean their core is altered. I started to believe more in myself because you made me. That is why when I look around today every body is just a blurry face, a haze, hiding behind the mist, but you, You are definite. You are clarity and everything I am sure of and I know you know that I have always believed in you, but today I only want you to remember that it is not because of the way you make me feel, but because even before I knew you the way I do today, I knew you were worth believing in.

P.S – I will always, always believe in you, My mirror ❤

-WANDERER // 17.

Melito Saldanha 

His wandering eyes were nowhere close to where we were.I tried to find him back but he was too much into the wilderness finding his way on paper 

so I let him, 

I gifted him the silence he deserved for there was nothing more enticing than to watch his fingers dance a little on the pages syncing with the rhythm of his heartbeat and the tune of his transitory lost mind,there was nothing more enticing than watching him unfold like a shriveled paper that kept a thousand secrets inside.

So I left him to his forest as he etched his name on every tree and left him to his musings until he was spent, and once he was, his tired eyes smiled through and he turned towards me the pages revealing all the secrets 

I thought he had but when I read what he had inked each word had a different story and every space between them resonated even more another tale, unheard of, and by the end of it, I only came to the realisation that he had no secret after all.

He was simply a mirror, 

reflecting himself in all truth, in time, and I realised I didn’t have to look for anything inside, because he had nothing to hide.

-WANDERER // My mirror.