Black memories 

It did not feel taxing, 

the fourth time,

the way 

your hands 

went down

to parts 

of me

even 

I wasn’t 

acquainted with yet.

It did not 

scare me 

anymore, 

It did not 

make me 

want to 

leave 

this body.

I had left

already.

This, 

these hands and feet 

and these eyes 

were just

vacuum and skin.

I did not 

feel disgust 

the tenth time, 

in that corner 

in the dark.

I did not 

want 

to run away 

I was home.

I did not 

want to escape.

There 

was

none.

I did not 

feel the pain

the seventeenth time,

when 

my mouth 

slit open 

and bled 

from 

too much 

force.

I did not 

feel 

the need 

to wipe the blood 

off my 

thighs.
I did not 

feel the pain

or the sting 

of your nails 

cutting through 

inside me.

As a matter of fact 

I did not feel

anything at all.

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