Some days I wake up as bright as the sunlight that hits my face. Go on with the day like a ‘normal’ person would. Pamper myself with some good breakfast, a good book, some good articles, laugh with a few people and some Memes to laugh at. Other days I want to lay in bed, not move or even lift my eye lids. There is no motivation at all. I wonder how I could be so bipolar and hold extreme emotions sometimes but I guess when you’re depressed and happy at the same time you can’t tell how and why and all those questions are just a hoax, a mayhem that you can’t figure out, yet. I don’t know why this happens. I wonder if it is normal, perhaps it isn’t but I don’t talk about it because well, who talks about states of the mind right? We’re all building graveyards of ourselves, burying deep what we feel, and adorning these emotions with a coffin of brown polished, golden bordered fear. Sometimes I want to run and build a beautiful body i can admire and sometimes I want to make a map on my hands with a blade that leads to nowhere. Sometimes I want to be with people but sometimes I run away, I run away because I’m afraid I guess, I’m not sure but I run away. I’m feeling extreme emotions and I have learnt that it is normal, but what I haven’t learnt is how is it so hard to tell that somebody needs help?
How is it so hard to comprehend unusual silence, unusual moods or even detect the faintest of depression in the eyes that glow so fraudulently. Not everything that shines is gold?
How is it to hard ? I wish it wasn’t. I sometimes leave clues hoping somebody will understand.
Sometimes I hold up my make up boldly and dress like it compliments me, but sometimes I run a dark line across my eyes just to highlight where the soul is missing, where I’m empty and where I yearn to be read from. -WANDERER